I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
