Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
