Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
