he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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