i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
