who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
