i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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