i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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