I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
