Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
