I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
