Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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