My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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