ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the day after is always just damage control
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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