She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
