the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize