You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
