Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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