you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
