hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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