haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize