mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
