You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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