im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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