I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
