all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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