No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
