You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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