I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
