yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
