I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is Oprah even human
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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