Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
