Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
