Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
