Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
