Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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