fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
