I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
