Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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