Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
