No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
