I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
