She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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