well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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