dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize