We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
