I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
