Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
