Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
