No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize