once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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