apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
