She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
