There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
