yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
