She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
