My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
