I cockslap morals
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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