Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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