omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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