Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
