Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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