just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
