just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
