In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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