never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
