shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
